The beef started on Facebook. Creeped out by last week's TIME cover story about attachment parenting -- you know, the weird one with the preschool-age kid standing on a stool and suckling his mom's tit -- I penned an essay for the Village Voice about how much attachment parenting sucks and posted it to my wall. As it happens, my arch-nemesis, the nefarious local comic and 2012 Westword MasterMind Andrew Orvedahl, is himself an attachment parent who, naturally, has penned his own essay on how much non-attachment parenting sucks, which he then posted to my wall. At that point, it was clear that there was only one way to settle our differences: the old-fashioned way. With a wrestling match.

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One of the 10 Facebook Tips we found on Twitter.

Ten Facebook Tips: It started as an informational list on Mashable to help people optimize their Facebook usage, but it's become a top trending topic on Twitter, full of helpful and not-so-helpful -- and some of it quite telling -- advice about Zuckerberg's site.

Most of the tweets, which only seem to offer one tip and not all ten, encourage people to delete their Facebook accounts and switch to Twitter (and more and more seem to be ads for porn sites), but within all of the hullabaloo, we managed to find a few real gems.

Here is the (quite meta) top ten "10 Facebook Tips" rundown. We troll Twitter, so you don't have to.

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Crystal Allen

The Fine Gentleman's Club: Bobby Crane, Chris Charpentier, Sam Tallent and Nathan Lund.

Sam Tallent gave up the daily grind four years ago to focus on comedy. A full-time comedian since that jump-off, Tallent co-founded the Fine Gentleman's Club comedy troupe, a group that offers its Too Much Fun show every Wednesday night at the Deer Pile community space above City, O' City. In addition, Tallent hosts an open mike every Monday at the Lion's Lair and every Tuesday at the Squire Lounge; he's also a resident opener at the Comedy Works.

Tallent recently released Joke Life, a live album of his work -- or a mixtape, as he prefers it be known. Westword caught up with the local comic to find out more about how it came to be; in the interview below, Tallent talks about the support system that Denver comedy has created, how booking DIY comedy tours is a lot like being in a band, and why it's so great to be a possession-less man in a material world.

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The world needs more of what Amy Schumer has to offer: fresh, bold comedy that casually confronts sexuality and race in a way that makes you laugh now -- and think about it later. Whether she's discussing HPV, traveling to the Jewish homeland (Miami), or finally sleeping with her high school crush (but now he expects her to go to his graduation!), Schumer always delivers hilariously unexpected jokes. Her resume is impressive -- she placed fourth on season five of NBC's Last Comic Standing, appeared on Curb Your Enthusiasm and 30 Rock, and will be in the upcoming Steve Carell film Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.

And she'll be in person delighting Comedy Works audiences tonight through Saturday.

We caught up with the comedian about self-confidence, angry Jackass fans, and how guys don't care if your arm jiggles a little bit.

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Because this planet's the only one we've got for the time being, you can never really celebrate Earth Day enough. But there's no rule that says you have to be all self-righteous and earnest or even new-agey about paying homage to Gaia. It's okay to have fun, too, and that's the reason for tonight's installment of Voodoo Comedy Playhouse's bimonthly French Quarter Follies burlesque show, which will be dedicated to Mother Earth and all her earthy faeries, sprites and wood creatures.

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Sam Tallent.

Denver's comedy community despaired when heckler-ready Squire Lounge comedy night open-mike host Greg Baumhauer decided to call it quits.

The comedy night was mean, it was ugly, it was the toughest crowd in town -- if you could even get them to listen to you in the first place. But for many fledgling comics, the Squire was home on Tuesday nights. And then, in the cold of winter, they were kicked back out into the streets.

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What's the funniest damn thing you've ever seen on television? The commercials. Specifically, the ones that aren't trying to be funny, but try instead to sell you a load of crap in three easy payments -- the Ginsu knives, slicing-dicing machines and spotless cleaning solutions of the late-night surf. The professional turf pioneered by Ron Popeil and Billy Mays, infomercial smooth-talk and hyperventilation are the very stuff of the unintentional funny.

And that's what's so hilarious about But, Wait! There's More!, a weekly improv showdown featuring a rotation of five different house teams competing at Bovine Metropolis Theater. Just try to walk out of the place afterward without coveting some piece of trash you'll never use.

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Everyone's favorite eccentric Renaissance man, William Shatner, is in Denver for his one-man performance of Shatner's World: We Just Live In It this evening at the Buell Theatre. For Shat-nerds, seeing this show will be a lot like making it with an alien hottie.

And for everyone else who needs a frame of reference, here are the top five things William Shatner hasn't done yet:

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Wanda Sykes is a writer, actress, voice artist, activist and standup comedienne extraordinaire -- and crazy enough to talk to Westword. Her career is as epic as her personality, and she has no problem saying exactly what's on her mind -- whether it be salty, spicy or sweet.

Since she's coming to Denver this weekend for two performances at the Paramount Theatre -- the best news since her return to Curb Your Enthusiasm -- we took this as an opportunity to ask her Sykes-a-delic opinions on death-by-sniper, homosexual nomenclature, food at the White House and Rush Limbaugh's latest open-mouth gaffe.

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For being a "show about nothing," Seinfeld was a very big something during its glory days on NBC. Tonight at 8 p.m., join Geeks Who Drink, the nationally known bar-quiz crew, at Three Lions Pub for The Contest: The Third Annual Seinfeld Quiz, a night of Seinfeld trivia.

Geeks Who Drink specializes in creating lively quizzes developed by their editor, a six-time Jeopardy! winner, along with a team of writers. The quizzes cover topics ranging from geography to breakfast cereal, from literature to hair metal. Tonight's festivities will be dedicated exclusively to the beloved sitcom Seinfeld, and the writers have mined all nine seasons for trivia gold.

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