Meghan Ralph

The cast of new local play Casual Encounters/Missed Connections takes on eleven real-life Craigslist stories.

​Craigslist can be a scary, scary place, but that doesn't make any of us visit it any less. When Spark Theater playwright Sean Paul Mahoney decided to write a play about the website's role in Internet and pop culture, he spent hours scouring its Casual Encounters and Missed Connections sections for the best eleven entries to inspire vignettes in his play, the aptly titled Casual Encounters/Missed Connections. About half of these come from Denver, while the rest span a range of cities up to but not including Las Vegas. (The Vegas posts are so intense thatnobody would even believe they're real, Mahoney says.)

But what about the stories that didn't make the cut? Below, Westword uncovers five Missed Connections posted this week alone that could easily take a turn on the stage or screen with a little help and a happy ending.

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Wikimedia Commons

Are you there, guys? It's me, Kelsey.

​When I called Lawrence Woodson to reschedule my animal spirit reading, I was hoping the local psychic would have anticipated my call. "I saw this coming," he would say, then cackle maniacally. Perhaps there would be a clap of thunder reflected in his crystal ball, perhaps a curl of incense. Or perhaps not.

But when I stopped by the Spirit Wise metaphysical center on South Broadway late last week, I quickly saw that my stereotypical thinking wouldn't hold true. (The place did, however, smell like incense.) "I am not in the business of predicting the future," Woodson told me. "I'm more about helping people to get in touch with their true nature."

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Courtesy of Charlie Ross

Ross' One Man Star Wars Trilogy is about as serious as this eyebrow is -- which is to say, only of the mock variety.

​There are few things in this world more terrifying or awe-inspiring than the experience of witnessing a nerd achieve his life's dream. There are probably more than a few cases in which this involves Star Wars or, if pressed, its nemesis that ends in Trek, but Charlie Ross's has got to be a pretty singular case. For almost a decade, the actor and comedian has relived the entire epic trilogy every week in the best and most literal sense possible: He becomes it.

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​As you may have noticed from the incessant product placement in ads and media, Star Wars: The Complete Saga hits shelves on Blu-Ray this week. The nine-disc set ($139.99) includes both the awesome, genre-changing original three movies and the putrid, hope-demolishing follow-up prequel trilogy. But it also comes with forty hours of material (alternate shots, behind-the-scenes photo, interviews) that will cause Star Wars geeks (and there are plenty of them) to have the same reaction that a 22-year-old male has to porn. Of course, Star Wars geeks have also made their uncomfortable presence known on the web, which is why you will have no trouble finding the droids you were looking for.

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Flickr photo by whologwhy

​With DSK (Dominique Strauss-Kahn) and his did-he-didn't-he-rape-a-New-York-hotel-maid story all over both sides of the Atlantic, it's not a great time to be French. The guy once seen as a top contender in 2012 presidential election pool has now become a poster-child for what Americans think is wrong with the French -- arrogant, womanizing and philandering. Even before the days of the Freedom Fry, Americans bashing on the French has become a tradition.

But here are enough French jokes in the world. So, on Bastille Day, their version of the 4th of July, here are five reasons to love the French:

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​In this week's edition of Gratuitous Randomness, we examine the antidote to the Scumbag Steve (and Scumbag Girl) meme -- which rocketed to popularity with online communities like 4chan and reddit -- Good Guy Greg. Here's a curated list to get you up to speed on Good Guy Greg's good antics.

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​World renowned press conference showman LeBron James -- or LeBenedict James, as he is known in Ohio -- played in the final game of the NBA Championships two nights ago, while all of Cleveland, including his former teammates on the Cavaliers who weren't busy with their day jobs as fry cooks and taxi drivers, watched with bated breath, praying for schadenfreude.

Justice prevailed, and LeBron and the Miami Heat lost to the Dallas Mavericks. And while the civilized world has been celebrating, LeBron can at least take solace in the fact that not only is he still tall and rich and successful, he's in classy company.

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​O, glory day for all Trekkies! Today marks the thirteenth 23rd year since the original air date of "The Neutral Zone," the one and only episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that has had humans everywhere imagining themselves on the Enterprise.

It was on this momentous day that the Enterprise courageously ventured to the very tip of the Romulan neutral zone, where other Federation personnel had disappeared throughout the light years, to try and find some answers. More admirable, however, is that it is also the day that Data, an Android robot, and Worf, a Klingon, first discover three humans frozen in cryogenic capsules on an old space ship. Awesome or weird? Try both, simultaneously.

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​Denver Broncos Running Back Lance Ball held court (field?) at St. Elizabeth's School yesterday for a charity event that happened to coincide with Teacher's Appreciation Day. The children slithered all over him in that adorable, no-boundary-having way that kids do, and he absolutely loved it.

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​In every romantic comedy, it all starts with a lie: a little lie that leads to zany antics, which in turn lead to more elaborate lies, which in turn lead to madcap misunderstandings, which in turn lead to love. And isn't that what it's all about? So today, because we care -- and also because it's Wednesday, the day that we bring you the best of our weird internets world in the form of images loosely related to whatever topic we happen to come up with -- we bring you this Forensic Psychology infographic about "How to Spot A Liar," which we interpret as "Avoid these Things to Become a Better Liar." Let the wacky shenanigans ensue.

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