Robots are everywhere. From helping us find cat videos on the Internet to assembling other robots (yeah, that can't end well), they've become almost as ubiquitous in real life as they have been in pop culture for years. This Saturday, the multimedia art exhibit Let's Pretend We're Robots opens at Good Thieves Press, celebrating both our robot pals and all the varieties of technology we associate with them. Inspired by this event celebrating the aesthetics of androids, we decided it was high time to have a look at the hottest robots pop culture has to offer. Don't feel too weird about being turned on by a machine, since we all lust after technology; some of us just do it more literally than others.

See also:
- Event: Let's Pretend We're Robots
- The six most memorable dancing robots from pop culture
- The six best onscreen pairings of robots and the apocalypse

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Fans of The Crow rejoiced back in 2008, when we heard that it would be up for a remake. (For the two or three of you who didn't see the movie or read the graphic comic-book series, it's about a gothy-hot dead man with eyeliner who returns from the grave to exact bloody-gutsy-gory vengeance on a gang who murdered his girlfriend.) Now, after some hellish pre-production drama with director/lead actor swaps and a distribution lawsuit, it looks like this reboot of The Crow may finally happen, with Spanish filmmaker F. Javier Gutiérrez directing and, as of a few days ago, Luke Evans cast as Eric Draven.

The first version of The Crow got infamous fast when lead actor Brandon Lee was killed on the set -- but even that tragic turn of events wasn't enough to make the movie worth watching, and the terrifyingly horrendous sequels dug its grave. But with this new version, there's a chance that we'll finally get a movie worthy of James O'Barr's dark, tragic comic-book masterpieces. Here are five reasons why The Crow needs to be rebooted -- and done better this time.

See also:
- Five prequel, sequel and remade movies I will watch -- no matter how bad they are
- Nick Cave is supposedly penning The Crow remake
- The new Muppets movie succeeds when following its original story arc

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Ron White performs at the Temple Buell Theatre on May 17.

Now that we've finally eked our way into the warmer weeks of spring (fingers crossed), it's time to get off the couch and head out into the fresh air to get to May's ten best comedy events. We've got albums being recorded, albums being released, two Latino-themed shows, nerd heroes Aziz Ansari and Chris Hardwick, a benefit for troubled children, and classy rube Ron White explaining why everyone's a little gay. So lower your defenses and put on your drinking shoes, because May is jam-packed with some hyperventilating hysteria to warm your heart after all those snowy months of hibernation.

See also:
- Louis C.K. debuts new HBO special, continues frightening us all with his vivid logic
- Amazon's new comedy pilots are full of flops -- with a Bill Murray and Grawlix exception
- Anthony Jeselnik celebrates baby-death, bulimia and domestic violence at DU

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For nearly two years the Nix Brothers and The Grawlix comedy team have been producing mind-burstingly good short films for the web that also screen each month at the Grawlix's Bug Theatre comedy show. With a trio of hyper-real characters that play off each other with a juvenile cruelty and self-debasement, the web series takes a conceptual cue from The Office. It acts as a faux-documentary profiling three goofball comics from Denver -- while also slipping in a few episodes of random weirdness that have nothing to do with anything.

As these comics close the chapter tonight with their season finale episode -- which will be screened at the Bug Theatre at 10 p.m. -- we thought we'd take a look back at our favorite moments in the Grawlix catalogue, reviewing all the childish cruelty these three monsters have inflicted on each other over the years.

See also:
- Denver's ten best comedy nights
- Andrew Orvedahl on Those Who Can't, the Grawlix pilot for Amazon
- Meet the 2013 MasterMinds: Evan and Adam Nix

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Anthony Jeselnik will perform at the Newman Center Saturday, April 27.

Between his standup performances and his Comedy Central show, The Jeselnik Offensive, handsome asshole Anthony Jeselnik has slapped the PC button of just about every sociopolitical demographic the world over. Whether you're a liberal female with an eating disorder or a conservative Catholic who survived cancer, this sharp-tongued mockster will find some way to burrow under your skin.

In anticipation of Jeselnik's performance in Denver this Saturday, we've assembled some of our favorite assaults throughout the years. If you are easily offended, these next five clips are definitely intended for you.

See also:
- Anthony Jeselnik on his jerk persona, Comedy Central roasts, and why he likes hecklers
- Louis C.K. debuts new HBO special, continues frightening us all with his vivid logic
- Kim Jong-Un supports gay marriage: Did SNL steal this from The Onion?

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Denver weather is unpredictable, as we all know with piles of snow landing on this city in mid-April, while lucky bastards in other places are already planting spring vegetables. And thanks to our local meteorologists, (who can't predict weather any better than drunk psychic televangelists), we never really know what to wear when we leave our houses. But there are no viable excuses for putting misguided fashion sense over basic safety and comfort. So here's our list of five things that people shouldn't wear in Denver when it's snowing. And as we are all intimately aware, snow comes early, often, late...and often.

See also:
- Snow Porn From Aspen/Snowmass
- Winter-storm warning a relief to Denver snow sculptors: Kenny Be's Yard Arteology
- Photos: Denver Public Works "Snow Road-eo"

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Stoners the world 'round will celebrate the highest of all holidays this Saturday -- 4/20, in case you got so baked you'd forgotten -- and the high-minded here in Colorado are in for a special treat. Not only is the stuff legal here, but we're blessed with cultural institutions that aren't afraid to embrace it, so the cannabis-inclined can celebrate at the Alamo Drafthouse's Half-Baked 4/20 Dinner Party. The beloved pot classic will be paired with a three-course meal of munchies inspired by the film; the evening might be the best reason ever to go to Littleton.

But what if you're just too high to make the trip? Well, you can always stay home and celebrate with your own pot movie. Since every stoner has seen the usual suspects -- the Cheech and Chong canon, Dazed and Confused, the Harold and Kumar trilogy, Friday and the rest -- we've picked a few lesser-known, but still dope, stoner films for you. These may not be as well-loved as the classics, but they live up to the same high standards.

See also:
- Event: Half-Baked 4/20 Dinner Party
- Vacation! director Zach Clark talks drugs, sex and death at the beach
- The Big Lebowski's ten most quotable moments

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Seems legit...

Maria Sharapova, the number two-ranked World Tennis Association player and former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, just launched a line of boutique candies -- including little lemon-lime tennis balls. This seems a little weird, considering Sharapova's athleticism and the nation's current examination of sugary sweets -- but then, this country has a long and proud history of celebrity-pushed products that range from somewhat useful to completely inane.

Here's our list of the five dumbest celebrity products ever pushed on the public. Paul Newman gets a free pass, because those salad dressings really are delicious.

See also:
- Lindsay Lohan, 90 Days in Jail: Five alternative sentencing ideas
- Lindsay Lohan's ad and other attention-grabbing antics from celebs under house arrest
- Lady Gaga congratulates Colorado and other reactions to 64 on Twitter

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The days of Internet dating being the domain of basement dwellers, antisocial misanthropes, virgins and folks who are unlucky in the looks department (mix and match any and all of these) are effectively over, and today it seems like everyone is meeting and dating -- and venting about meeting and dating -- on the Internet.There's nothing inherently wrong with online dating, and in some ways it's more convenient than going out to bars and clubs or hoping to meet someone in the produce aisle at the grocery store. But sometimes paying (or not paying, on free dating sites) for the convenience has a barely-hidden price tag, where you pay for truly rotten first dates in safety, sanity and, occasionally, a series of phone calls to the local police department.

Here are my five Internet first-date horror stories. They all happened to me, so by all means, have a bucket of chuckles at my pain. Yes, it's pretty funny -- until it happens to you.

See also:
- Can't win a date with Marnie Stern? Who's your dream date from the Denver music scene?
- Non-traditional dating site Grouper launches in Denver today
- Five jaded tips for online dating -- don't get Te'od!

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Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Littleton will host its first-ever Quote-Along tonight, and it's chosen one of the most quotable films of all time to kick things off: The Big Lebowski. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a Quote-Along encourages the audience to recite the best lines of the film as it's screening, and helps keep things lively with the occasional prop-assisted activity. For those unfamiliar with The Big Lebowski, well... stop reading this and go watch it. Seriously, that's just messed up.

Now that you know what you're getting at tonight's The Big Lebowski Quote-Along, we''re giving you a chance to polish your knowledge -- and pass twenty minutes or so of your boss's time on a Friday -- with this compilation of the best quotes from the film, presented in convenient video form. It's obviously NSFW, so put on the headphones, lest your co-workers be alarmed at all the shouting about fucking a stranger in the ass. Oh, and if it somehow isn't completely obvious, this is nothing but spoilers all the way.

See also:
- Event: The Big Lebowski Quote-Along
- First look: Alamo Drafthouse's limited-edition RoboCop poster
- RiffTrax's Kevin Murphy on Birdemic and Mystery Science Theater 3000's legacy

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