All photos by Ken Hamblin.

Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known throughout the land that the 2013 Colorado Renaissance Festival has officially begun. As of last Saturday, the festival will be open every weekend until August 4, with different themes, shows and performers and live jousting each weekend. Westword photographer Christopher Morgan was there to capture the best costumes of the opening weekend. For more photos, check out our full costumes of the Colorado Renaissance Festival slide show.

See also:
-Wind up the way-back machine to head to the Colorado Renaissance Festival
- A newcomer's guide to the Colorado Renaissance Festival
- Photos: Wenches of the Colorado Renaissance Festival 2012

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Eyeball licking. No, seriously.

Okay so apparently the teenagers are licking each other's effin eyeballs to get freaky, as if the kids today weren't already doing enough regular, everyday stupid shit like texting and driving, not learning to read and taking nude pics of their underage selves for Internet posterity. At least us Gen Xers did the bulk of our crazy shit before the Internet got big). These little hipster spawn are coming up with some seriously creative -- and just as seriously dumb and harmful -- ways to catch some buzzes and get their junk-jollies off.

Here's a list of five stupid-ass things kids are doing to get loaded and get off. And I assure you, narrowing this list down to five took some real work.

See also:
- Is it time to quit dismissing the taste of teenage girls?
- The ten most awkward teens in pop culture
- Five sluttiest Halloween costumes for teen girls

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All Photos by Byron Graham

While Sixth Avenue may be less celebrated than other Denver streets, the lineup of unique shops between Grant and Downing streets definitely make this strip one of the city's most convenient shopping areas. One of its most charming, too: The quirky specialty stores in historic brick bungalows and storefronts from every era are almost impossible to resist. Where else can you get an old-school barber shave, stock up on medical cannabis, shop for fly-fishing gear and get your dog groomed during a short walk? Unlike Broadway, its perpendicular cousin where seemingly half the storefronts are occupied by self-consciously kitschy antique stores, or parallel Colfax, with its long stretches of nothingness, Sixth Avenue has plenty to offer in a small stretch of space. Here, in no particular order, are the ten best shops on Sixth Avenue.

See also:
- The ten best stores on Tennyson Street
- The ten best stores on Broadway
- Ten places you and your dog will love this summer

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Denver PrideFest 2013 is this weekend, and there will be music, food, drink, live entertainment and a big-ass parade on Sunday morning. the people-watching opportunities alone are worth the trip downtown and the parking hassles.

But every PrideFest has its perils and pitfalls, and in order not to be named and shamed on Monday morning's Facebook feed, here are five things NOT to do at Denver PrideFest. (This list also applies to every other Pride event, everywhere else, so commit it to your "brain-bow" file.)

See also:
- Denver PrideFest 2013 announces headliners Taylor Dayne and Martha Wash
- PrideFest 2012 weekend: hotter (and more sunburned) than ever
- Taking pride in Pride: Here's what it means to be an ally

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Brandon Marshall

A scene from last year's Tour de Fat.

The wheels are always turning in Denver, which just won the REI Cycling Town Showdown as the country's bike-friendliest city. Denver not only has great places to ride your bike, it also has great places to ride your bike to. Here are ten of our favorites for this summer.

See also:
- Videos: Best bicycling states of 2013 -- and why Colorado finished near the top
- Photos: Top ten suggestions to make Denver a better bike city
- Denver Cruiser Ride: City officially proclaims Wednesdays "Bike Night in Denver"

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The Sklar Brothers will appear at Comedy Works Downtown June 27-29.

June is jam-packed with a lineup of comedy events so eclectic, you're sure to find something to tickle your funny bone. There are podcasters and Pride festers, twins and Too Much Fun, He-Man and transgenders...so many giggle-worthy performances that your calendar will be bursting with snickers. Keep reading for the ten best comedy nights in June.

See also:
- The Dairy Center developing a standup comedy scene in Boulder
- Ron White got personal in Denver about sex, pot and Osama Bin Laden on Friday
- Comedian Josh Blue on the pros and cons of being an "inspiration"

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Nicole Richie, Christian Louboutin, Rachel Zoe, Óscar de la Renta and Karl Lagerfeld contribute to Bergdorf Goodman's fashion retail story in Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's.

In Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf's -- opening tonight at the Sie FilmCenter -- the story of a colossus retailer of couture is told from many angles. Famous customers, fashion designers, critics and Bergdorf's own employees help frame the New York department store's tale, through a mix of lore and personal experience.

The doc's storyline is woven around the annual unveiling of the store's holiday window displays, an intensive months-long process overseen by window dresser David Hoey. The window visuals are incredible, but it's commentary from the likes of Joan Rivers, Karl Lagerfeld, Patricia Field, Jason Wu and Linda Fargo -- Bergdorf's vice president, who has an Anna Wintour-like mystique -- that bring the 5th Avenue giant to life.

In advance of tonight's opening screening, here's a list of five other fashion-oriented documentaries that have been released in the last five years.

See also:
- Director of fashion doc Versailles '73 on the runway show that changed history
- Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's is a mash note to fashion
- Womenswear Wednesdays: Lease analyst Kelsey Peoples on her Southern belle style

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It's a common behavior of Star Wars fans: canonize the original trilogy, and get all hater-y on the screw-ups in Episodes I-III. But if the mistakes made in the second trilogy weren't so completely soul-crushing and legacy-altering, then people wouldn't be bitching about them to this day -- and keeping interest in the saga alive. Now a new hope has come with the prospect of three more movies -- sequels to the first trilogy or, at the very least, a stand-alone movie to be released in 2015 -- made with all the magic, and fat piles of cash, that Disney has to offer. And with George Lucas officially a consultant on the project (rather than the driving force), there is an above-average chance that the next three Star Wars movies will restore balance to the force and faith in the franchise -- if Disney can avoid past sarlacc-feeding type offenses.

Here are five Star Wars mistakes that the new movies should avoid.

See also:
- May the Fourth be With You: Ten weird pieces of Star Wars memorabilia
- One-Man Star Wars Trilogy review: The Force can only do so much.
- In honor of The People Vs. George Lucas, here are our five favorite Star Wars fan films

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Before the advent of online dating, people used to meet their dating partners in real life, making it slightly easier to get a feel for personalities, lifestyles, families, personal assets and compatibilities. Internet-based dating admittedly is a more convenient way to meet people, but it's got its inherent pitfalls as well, such as misrepresentation, scammers, no-strings sex-seekers, cheaters, scammers and plenty of brazen liars. There is no perfect system, and dating will always have risks, but Colorado's new Lumidate service seeks to keep folks honest -- by requiring full background checks for all members.

See also:
- Five Internet first-date horror stories, batteries included
- Top five dinners to serve your Internet date on Valentine's Day
- Five jaded tips for online dating -- don't get Te'od!

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Nerd. Geek. Dork. By whatever name, these poor, unfortunate souls with bad haircuts, unflattering clothes and few social graces are everywhere. Especially pop culture. Few films have captured the ideal of the awkward, disastrously uncool teen like Todd Solondz's Welcome to the Dollhouse, in the character of Dawn Wiener. The film -- showing tonight and tomorrow at 10 p.m. as part of the Watching Hour at the Sie FilmCenter -- offers one of the most simultaneously off-putting and endearing views of what it's like to fail to fit into the teen landscape of cool in the most disastrous way possible. In honor of the screening, we've collected some of pop culture's other most memorable misfits. Unfashionable, uncool and sometimes even unlikable, here are ten more teens who embrace the awkward like they have no other choice. Because they don't.

See also:
- Weird love: The ten strangest onscreen couples
- Arrested Development's five most wonderfully awkward themes
- The eight hottest robots in pop-culture history

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